For a long time I would never put myself first. I’ve drawn several conclusions to comprehend the reasons behind this choice.
I was a teenager in the 80’s and it was a case of get married, have babies and keep a nice house. I genuinely didn’t believe I had any other options in life. University was never mentioned. I had a 5 minute careers chat and I choose hairdressing because it looked glamourous. No one sat with me and said, “you show this strength or skill and have you thought about this path.”
I was 16, working 42 hours per week. No coffee breaks or lunches and on your feet for the whole day. Again, no environment where someone would say, “how are you doing or let’s look at how you are progressing.” It was very much a case of get on with it and learn.
I didn’t know there was another way of living my life.
My social circle was in the pub from Friday through to Sunday. I would do what everyone else did. I followed the pack because I didn’t know any different.
There were never alternative options that I was aware of. I wish someone had taken the time to sit me down and suggest other ways of living. I didn’t have role models who could show alternative activities for weekends or someone to believe in me to push a different way of thinking.
But something inside me was curious. I was always interested in fitness. Every now and then I would give something a go. Running, playing squash, tennis and even got the leg warmers out for step aerobics. I loved it but I would be ridiculed for attempting to do something different and it would embarrass me. I was made to feel shame for getting above myself. So I would stop and give up.
I knew deep down the type of person I wanted to be but its not easy to break free from everyones else’s expectations. So, I stopped trying and let everyone else’s happiness become my way of living.
I was waiting for permission.
I always knew life was precious and I understood you have to put the work in to get where you want to be but I was waiting for someone to give me permission to go for it.
Permission never came. I waited for it but it never happened. I was miserable. I had failed marriages, relationships and I had the lowest opinion of myself. Mentally, I was done because deep down I was not living in alignment to the way I wanted to live my life.
I either had to give up or get up. It was that simple. I could no longer keep living my life for everyone else and I had to stop being a people pleaser.
Looking for help was the turning point for me because I had tried to do it on my own and it was too big to deal with. There are so many considerations to take on board and I needed to learn a different approach to life and new ways of living.
I started to give myself options and choices.
I gave myself permission. It took time. Small steps at first but oh my goodness it was the best thing I did.
Im free from being People Pleaser.
I do what I want to to do and dont minimise my wants and needs for others. Ive got over the fear of disappointing others and it has opened up doors to personal growth. I set boundaries for myself and it contributes to a healthier, more balanced life for me.
I’m now living and being my authentic self and it fosters genuine connections with others and I’m surrounded by people who cheer me on.
My self-care is important and it becomes more attainable when Im not trying to meet others’ expectations.
In high performance coaching I will take you through the key steps to stop people pleasing and become the most courageous version of your.
Within weeks you will be clear about what your main goals are and then we get to work on how you can achieve them.
We look at options and choices and make sure you are in alignment to how you want to live your life.
Healthy habits and boundaries will be introduced as you move away from your old ways of living. My clients never go back to where they were because they see instant changes and progress.
Your changes will bring in great opportunities and personal growth which opens new doors and possabilities.
Releasing the need for external approval liberates my clients to pursue their passions and interests.
If you have got this far in my blog then that means you are serious about change. Please start to give yourself permission to live.
It’s comforting to have someone to discuss ideas, share options, and talk things through. Whether you’re striving to lead a team or seeking personal growth, we all need a trusted confidant who we can share our struggles and concerns with.
Together, we can navigate any doubts, concerns and insecurities you may have. But it is important to understand that during these moments of vulnerability that having a coach by your side becomes invaluable.
Ive always been blessed with the knowledge that life is precious and I waste no time living my life with meaning, courage and being fearless. You deserve the same too.
Follow the link to complete my High Performance Questionnaire to learn additional concepts and strategies. Request your questionnaire here
I believe in you…..You’ll See.